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Birnam Retreat

Birnam Retreat

4.5
out of 5
Ratings from 7 reviews
86% of guests
recommend
Cleanliness
4.6
Comfort
4.6
Condition
4.4
Location
4.9
Value
4.1
Customer
Service
4.4

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Designed to create a delightful and momentous experience, this luxurious bungalow is the perfect choice for families and groups of friends who wish to relax in a unique and open-plan holiday home with a host of amenities close by.

Disappointing

Review submitted on Wed, 19 Aug 2026
1.8
out of 5
Guest doesn't recommend this property
Cleanliness
2.0
Comfort
2.0
Condition
1.0
Location
4.0
Value
1.0
Customer
Service
1.0
I do not usually leave public negative feedback, but my private feedback, although asked for, has been ignored.
We had booked this property for a family get-together to watch the Football World Cup, Wimbledon and International Rugby.
The internet was so poor that this proved to be a significant problem, and the lack of any blinds or curtains in the living room made watching the TV during the day very difficult, and without fans, very uncomfortable.
The inside of the property was clean, but the outside was appalling.
The garden must have been lovely once, but taking the heat wave fully into consideration, the garden was completely overgrown with weeds and brambles, dotted with rubbish from previous guests with bits of plastic, streamers, a used elastoplast etc.
The garden furniture was all soiled with bird droppings and green algae and at the front, the seating area had no cushions and the table was broken with an ashtray stuffed full with cigarette butts. There were discarded rusty chairs, portable BBQs and a tarpaulin around the garden,
Nothing like the photographs.
The kids play area was covered in pine cones making it unsafe for our toddler, and the play equipment and toy BBQ were absolutely filthy.
The “Home Gym” was a treadmill and small exercise bike in the very small conservatory through which you gain access to the garden. No climate control and no other equipment at all….not even the rowing machine in the photographs.
I complained via email about the outside bins being full to overflowing on our arrival and the internet not working efficiently enough to watch sport replays. I had one email apologising about the full bins; my other email remains unanswered.
I received an automatic email from the Agent after our stay (we left a day early) asking for feedback, which I provided on the 21/7/26. I received no reply to this email. I then messaged on WhatsApp which was ignored until I messaged again, when I was told that the owners would reply on their return from holiday. I enquired when this might be, and the Agent didn’t know.
4 weeks after my feedback, I still have not received a reply; hence this review.
We had looked forward to this “Royal Retreat” for a long time. There was nothing Royal about it.

Helen from Clearwater Bay stayed at Birnam Retreat for 7 nights in July 2026


Wonderful in every way!

Review submitted on Thu, 07 May 2026
5.0
out of 5
Guest recommends this property
Cleanliness
5.0
Comfort
5.0
Condition
5.0
Location
5.0
Value
5.0
Customer
Service
5.0
Enjoyed the pool/hot tub; garden; Birds chirping; lovely view of the fields. . The house is beautifully presented. The beds were comfortable. Everything you would need in the kitchen. The hosts were so accommodating in every way. Everything was perfectly clean. Plenty towels/blankets. All in all a lovely experience. Thank you

Family from stayed at Birnam Retreat for 2 nights in April 2026


High End Getaway

Review submitted on Wed, 29 Apr 2026
5.0
out of 5
Guest recommends this property
Cleanliness
5.0
Comfort
5.0
Condition
5.0
Location
5.0
Value
5.0
Customer
Service
5.0
From the moment I arrived, everything felt incredibly luxurious and well thought out. The space was spotless, beautifully decorated, and extremely comfortable.

The highlight was the jacuzzi and swimming pool which was so good for unwinding. These features really made the whole experience feel like a high-end getaway.

The apartment had everything I needed and more, and the attention to detail truly stood out. Despite the luxury, it was also great value for money, which made the stay even better.

I would highly recommend this place to anyone looking for comfort, style, and a touch of indulgence. I would definitely stay here again!

R from stayed at Birnam Retreat for 1 nights in April 2026


Mary's "70th" Birthday Break.

Review submitted on Sat, 29 Nov 2025
5.0
out of 5
Guest recommends this property
Cleanliness
5.0
Comfort
5.0
Condition
5.0
Location
5.0
Value
5.0
Customer
Service
5.0
My son and I wanted a short break for my wife's birthday and somewhere for some friend's and family to be able to visit as well, whilst unfortunately not all the people we booked for could make it. The 5 of us that did were not disappointed with Birnam Retreat, it suited our needs exactly and was very easy to find and get to, and very handy situated and near Sandwich. So we would not hesitate to recommend it to anyone.

Alan from BEXLEY stayed at Birnam Retreat for 4 nights in November 2025


Excellent location

Review submitted on Tue, 16 Sep 2025
4.8
out of 5
Guest recommends this property
Cleanliness
5.0
Comfort
5.0
Condition
5.0
Location
5.0
Value
4.0
Customer
Service
5.0
Enjoyed our stay at Birnam. Hot tub was excellent for kids and adults.
Information provided on things to do and eating places were clear and had distances given.


Mukesh from North Harrow stayed at Birnam Retreat for 2 nights in September 2025


Birnam Retreat

Review submitted on Sun, 13 Jul 2025
5.0
out of 5
Guest recommends this property
Cleanliness
5.0
Comfort
5.0
Condition
5.0
Location
5.0
Value
5.0
Customer
Service
5.0
A beautiful property with great facilities and a lovely garden and hot tub/ spa pool. Perfect for large family breaks.

Guest from Stockport stayed at Birnam Retreat for 4 nights in July 2025


Hussein family review

Review submitted on Wed, 04 Sep 2024
4.8
out of 5
Guest recommends this property
Cleanliness
5.0
Comfort
5.0
Condition
5.0
Location
5.0
Value
4.0
Customer
Service
5.0
Thanks for having my family and me.

We loved the place and will definitely be back in the future the kids will never forget this amazing trip and property.

warsame from london stayed at Birnam Retreat for 3 nights in July 2024